14 Oct
a little progress never hurt anybody, eh?

so i took something to sleep last night and finally got a little sleep.  i am feeling a little bit better today, but not alot.  i think i may try to see a psychiatrist if i can get one to see me for free…  going to look into that this week.  also, i need to make a decision about work… i am working from home right now and not making enough money because i dont have enough work.  i either have to get more work from home or get another job.  i really dont want to work away from home, i have come to like working at home alot.  plus, i am so fat i dont want to leave the house because i know everyone will be making fun of me.  

i tried to contact my ex-best friend and make up one more time, even though she is the one who needs to be appologising, and she didnt respond, so i guess i just have to give up on her and walk away.  still mad at my bf for his comment about my hair, but he is being really sweet like always and i know he wasnt saying it to be mean, it just slipped i guess.  anyway, im still mad though, my feelings are still hurt.  like i needed any help lowering my self esteem, you know?  enough complaining for today.  

i weighed a little bit ago and am now at 155lbs!  so, i have lost 10lbs total from when i started trying to lose wieght this time, and 5lbs from when i joined the site.  only 15lbs more to go before i reach my first GW, and only 20 more after that to reach my second GW.  i cant wait.  i hate being fat and ugly. 

Today’s Stats

1 diet coke
2 glasses of water
1 cup hot green tea
1 lipton green citrus tea = 80 calories
1 balance bar = 210 calories
1 salad = 100 calories
chicken flavored rice = 300 calories

lots of yardwork, including mowing and blowing the front and back yard for exercise today.


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