20 Nov

 so, update.  we arent going until tomorrow.  so i get to go through all the preparation and house cleaning and everything again tomorrow.  fun times.  i am so fucking happy right now, if only you knew.  NOT.

so, that means that i have all night here alone, because my boyfriend is going to some thing, and i will be here all alone tonight and get to deal with this shit more, and all alone.  he fucking makes up a lame ass excuse why we cant go and then convienently he has this thing to go to tonight that he has been wanting to go to for like a week.  and i know he thinks he is just going to get me a bracelet that i want and everything will be ok.  it WONT be okay.  i dont like being lied to and tricked, and i am too smart, i know what the fuck he did.  he lied so he could go to this stupid ass dorkfest tonight.  it wont be ok if he comes home and i fucking killed myself will it?  oh i only wish.

so you know i dont know, i guess i still should stick with the have to wait until after thanksgiving thing but it is fucking hard and there is so much to deal with and i dont know what to do.  i am going to go run on the treadmill until i pass the fuck out i think.  i hope i do.


6 Responses to “fuckfuckfuck”

  1. kesf 11/21/2007 at 12:08 am #

    “I’ll be up for about another half an hour if you finish on the treadmill and want to message me…”
    That’s rubbish! Not surprised you’re in a bad mood.
    I’ll be up for about another half an hour if you finish on the treadmill and want to message me on MSN.
    You have to hang on, I know it’s hard… I fucking know, I wish I could be here for you. I wish I could keep you company tonight. The best I can say is that I’ll be on msn though.
    Take care,
    Kes xx

    • mykindanormal 11/21/2007 at 12:30 am #

      Re: “I’ll be up for about another half an hour if you finish on the treadmill and want to message me
      thanks! i just took a break from the treadmill i have run for 40 minutes now. going to go back and do the last 20. it is all i can do to run and try not to think about depressing stuff. just me and my anger – listening to rob zombie! ha! but good news is i weighed and i have lost 3lbs today, so that is good. ill look for you when i am done but if i miss you have a great night.

  2. iamsothemary 11/21/2007 at 12:23 am #

    I take it by “dorkfest” you mean it’s some nerdy thing he’s doing with his friends?
    If that’s the case, just thank your lucky stars that he’s not seeing some other girl. We all need time with our friends withOUT our significant other. Sure, he didn’t go about things in a good way AT ALL lol, but if you’re upfront (and not pissy which was always the hard part for me haha) and just ask him to not make up stories maybe it’ll be better in the future.

    • mykindanormal 11/21/2007 at 12:27 am #

      yeah you would think so right! i have told him if he just tells me the truth i will never get mad, and i never care if he goes with his friends to the dorky things that they do, its some sort of complicated chess game or something. but we already made plans to go on today for thanksgiving and then he found out about this stupid thing and instead of just asking to push it back a day he made up shit. i just get mad because i have asked him and asked him not to lie to me and he still does. fucking little boys.

      • iamsothemary 11/21/2007 at 12:35 am #

        Haha OH yeah, that was kinda what I figured was happening. I used to deal with the same crap, so I know lol. Only my guy wasn’t good enough for me and I deserved better. Not just because of the type of thing you’re dealing with, but a TON of other crap too. Just don’t think I’m telling you that your bf sucks, everyone has bad days!
        Your story actually reminds me a lot of that scene in “Knocked Up” (if you saw that movie) where the wife thinks the husband’s cheating but he’s actually doing stupid guy things.
        We’re totally the smarter of the sexes.

      • mykindanormal 11/21/2007 at 12:39 am #

        yeah he is a great boyfriend, and i know for sure he is not cheating, he just pisses me off with lying when i am a great girlfriend and never get mad at him anyways. guys are so stupid. i have had bad boyfriends before so i know to appreciate what i have now, but it still doesnt keep me from getting pissed off at him when he messes up. haah!
        we are definitely the smarter. i always know when he lies, even about the littlest thing! 🙂

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