Archive | December, 2007

12 days left…

12 Dec

 ive done pretty good today, couldnt work out though because my heels are rubbed and blilstered from running.  i need new tennies.  i did clean house and re-arrange our home gym so that was a good work out i guess… i am always seeing ‘floaters’ – you know, like black spots floating around in my vision and it really scares me…

Today’s Stats
ramen – 380 calories
chex – 190 calories
a million diet cokes

total cals – 570ish
cw – 145

i will do a sort of fast tomorrow… i dont really even have a choice anyway, we have NO FOOD and i dont feel like going to the store.  how can we afford food when we have so many christmas presents to buy!  i might go shopping tomorrow… oh yeah and i colored my hair dark again and i really like it.  enough rambling.  i am going to take a nice long hot bath and listen to enigma.  goodnight all.



11 Dec

 well i am way behind on my goal.  i have been stuck at the same weight for like since before thanksgiving now.  i gained and lost back down to it over thanksgiving, did it again this last week when my mom came to visit us, and now soon i have to go back home for christmas and i havent lost any since thanksgiving.  ugh.  

must start doing better.  must lose another 25 before christmas.  i have no idea how i can do it at this point… does anyone have any ideas??? 

i havent been on much and havent posted much lately on the pa waiting room because people just seem to be rude and judgemental there and that is even if they comment you at all… im looking for new communities who are nice and supportive for someone with an ed like me…  any ideas on this either?

back to prethanksgiving weight

5 Dec
Today’s Stats
 chicken nuggets 
2 diet cokes
1 glass water
1 bottle boones

CW 145
didnt work out because i cleaned house hard today

my mom comes to visit tomorrow and will be here for the weekend. i hope i dont gain weight.  

my boyfriend just gave me the best compliment ever.  i was taking my clothes off to get in the shower and he was standing there talking to me and i was thinking to myself how embarassed i was for him to see how fat i am and he said, “you’re so thin!  your hips are so small now!”  that made my day.  i am going to go to bed happy now.  🙂


4 Dec

i stayed in bed all day today.  i only am just now getting out because my brother needed help on the computer.   i have an account on and people are so mean there, and they dont even know about my ana or my lj.  it really makes me sad and depressed.  people are nicer here.  usually.  i mean lots of times i post on a board and nobody replies, that is why i just stopped posting on the boards.  anyway, people are mean and make me sad.  i should run on the treadmill today but i just cant make myself do anything…

Today’s Stats
1 spoon peanut butter – 80 cals
2 chicken nuggets – 100 cals 
2 diet cokes
corn – 80 cals

total cals= 260

treadmill – 15 minutes hard running

fresh start

3 Dec

 it was a fresh start today, and i did pretty good.  so i may have some work again… may have a new account on the mt work at least.  still need to start up with the real estate again.  still cant stand to think of leaving the house and having to work and be around other people…

Today’s Stats
1 diet cokes
1 baked potato w/ butter – 130 calories
1 glasses water
chicken – 500ish calories?

miss me?

2 Dec

well i havent been posting on here like i should and i have to get back at it.  i havent been counting my calories, but i havent been eating much of anything either.  i ran on the treadmill the last couple of days and i am reading a great book called ‘the anatomy of the spirit’ which i highly reccommend.  thats about all for right now.  tomorrow i hit it hard and start again with the posting and my calorie counting, etc.