crusty socks

2 Mar

finding crusty socks in the bottom of the laundry hamper and confused because your man doesn’t have a runny nose? what else could it be besides him blowing his nose on his socks, right? that is totally disgusting, but the truth is far worse.

face it, your man has been masturbating to porn.  he is cheating on you with other girls you can never compare to and he could never get.  that’s right you heard what i said correctly. your man has been looking at young anorexic teenage girls with breast implants getting gang banged and when they are getting cum shots on their face he is watching the money shot and shooting his load in his sock.

yep, he has been choking the chicken, rubbing the geenie lamp, stroking the poodle, shanking the inmate, slapping the salami, peeling the banana, flogging the log, husking the corn, waxing the weasel, making the camel spit, spelunking with bob, doing the five knuckle shuffle, jerkin’ the gherkin, chafing the carrot, saying hi to his monster, playing the old yanky cranky, punching the clown, slapping the sausage, having some hands on training and being dishonorably discharged…

there is no way to compete, and even when he is having sex with you now he is imagining that he is fucking the shit out of one of those underage bitches ass holes… just you will never be enough for him again, he will never get off to you honey. 

how do i know this? oh, i have learned it the hard way…


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